_AEschylus_--And by Jove, I'll not stop to cut up your verses
word by word, but if the gods are propitious I'll spoil
all your prologues with a little flask of smelling-salts.
_Euripides_--With a flask of smelling-salts?
_AEsch_.--With a single one. For you build your verses so that
anything will fit into the metre,--a leathern sack,
or eider-down, or smelling-salts. I'll show you.
_Eur_.--So, you'll show me, will you?
_AEsch_.--I will that.
_Dionysus_--Pronounce.
_Eur_. [_declaiming_]--
AEgyptus, as broad-bruited fame reports,
With fifty children voyaging the main
To Argos came, and
_AEsch_.--lost his smelling-salts.
_Dion_.--What the mischief have the smelling-salts got to do with
it? Recite another prologue to him and let me see.
_Eur_.--
Dionysus, thyrsus-armed and faun-skin-clad,
Amid the torchlights on Parnassus's slope
Dancing and prancing
_AEsch_.--lost his smelling-salts.
_Dion_.--Caught out again by the smelling-salts.
_Eur_.--No matter. Here's a prologue that he can't fit 'em to.
No lot of mortal man is wholly blest:
The high-born youth hath lacked the means of life,
The lowly lout hath
_AEsch_.--lost his smelling-salts.
_Dion_.--Euripides--
_Eur_.--Well, what?
_Dion_.--Best take in sail.
These smelling-salts, methinks, will blow a gale.
_Eur_.--What do I care? I'll fix him next time.
_Dion_.--Well, recite another, and steer clear of the smelling-salts.
_Eur_.--
Cadmus departing from the town of Tyre,
Son of Agenor
_AEsch_.--lost his smelling-salts.
_Dion_.--My dear fellow, buy those smelling-salts, or there won't
be a rag left of all your prologues.
_Eur_.--What? I buy 'em of him?
_Dion_.--If you'll be advised by me.
_Eur_.--Not a bit of it. I've lots of prologues where he can't
work 'em in.
Pelops the Tantalid to Pisa coming
With speedy coursers
_AEsch_.--lost his smelling-salts.
_Dion_.--There they are again, you see. Do let him have 'em,
my good AEschylus. You can replace 'em for a
nickel.
_Eur_.--Never. I've not run out yet.
Oeneus from broad fields
_AEsch_.--lost his smelling-salts.
_Eur_.--Let me say the whole verse, won't you?
Oeneus from broad fields reaped a mighty crop
And offering first-fruits
_AEsch_.--lost his smelling-salts.
_Dion_.--While sacrificing? Who filched them?
_Eur_.--Oh, never mind him. Let him try it on this verse:--
Zeus, as the word of sooth declared of old--
_Dion_.--It's no use, he'll say Zeus lost his smelling-salts. For
those smelling-salts fit your prologues like a kid
glove. But go on and turn your attention to his
lyrics.
