Baby's Got A Tooth

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The telephone rang in my office to-day,
  as it often has tinkled before.
  I turned in my chair in a half-grouchy way,
  for a telephone call is a bore;
  And I thought, "It is somebody wanting to know
  the distance from here to Pekin."
  In a tone that was gruff I shouted "Hello,"
  a sign for the talk to begin.
  "What is it?" I asked in a terrible way.
  I was huffy, to tell you the truth,
  Then over the wire I heard my wife say:
  "The baby, my dear, has a tooth!"

  I have seen a man jump when the horse that he
  backed finished first in a well-driven race.
  I have heard the man cheer, as a matter of fact,
  and I've seen the blood rush to his face;
  I've been on the spot when good news has come
  in and I've witnessed expressions of glee
  That range from a yell to a tilt of the chin; and
  some things have happened to me
  That have thrilled me with joy from my toes to
  my head, but never from earliest youth
  Have I jumped with delight as I did when she
  said, "The baby, my dear, has a tooth."

  I have answered the telephone thousands of times
  for messages both good and bad;
  I've received the reports of most horrible crimes,
  and news that was cheerful or sad;
  I've been telephoned this and been telephoned
  that, a joke, or an errand to run;
  I've been called to the phone for the idlest of chat,
  when there was much work to be done;
  But never before have I realized quite the thrill
  of a message, forsooth,
  Till over the wire came these words that I write,
  "The baby, my dear, has a tooth."

© Edgar Albert Guest