I cannot blame old Israel yet,
For I am not a sage
I shall not know until I get
The son of my old age.
The mysteries of this Vale of Tears
We will perchance explain
When we have lived a thousand years
And died and come again.
No doubt old Jacob acted mean
Towards his fathers son;
But other hands were none too clean,
When all is said and done.
There were some things that had to be
In those old days, tis true
But with old Jacobs history
This tale has nought to do.
(They had to keep the birth-rate up,
And populate the land
They did it, too, by simple means
That we cant understand.
The Patriarchs way of fixing things
Would make an awful row,
And Sarahs plain, straightforward plan
Would never answer now.)
his is a tale of simple men
And one precocious boy
A spoilt kid, and, as usual,
His fathers hope and joy
(It mostly is the way in which
The younger sons behave
That brings the old mans grey hairs down
In sorrow to the grave.)
Old Jacob loved the whelp, and made,
While meaning to be kind,
A coat of many colours that
Would strike a nigger blind!
It struck the brethren green, twas said
Id take a pinch of salt
Their coats had coloured patches too
But that was not their fault.
Young Joseph had a soft thing on,
And, humbugged from his birth,
You may depend he worked the thing
For all that it was worth.
And that he grafted not but crowed,
You dont need to be told,
And he was mighty cocky, with
His Lo! and his Behold!
He took in all his brothers said,
And went and told his Dad,
And then, when someone split on him,
No wonder they were mad.
But still he wasnt satisfied,
And it would almost seem
He itched to rile his brethren, for
He went and dreamed a dream,
And told it to his brothers straight
(So Genesis believes):
Lo! we were working in the field,
And we were binding sheaves,
And my sheaf rose and stood upright,
And, straightway, for a sign,
Your sheaves came round about and made
Obeisance to mine!
The brethren stared and made comment
In words that were not mild,
And when the meaning dawned on them
You bet that they were wild!
And Joseph left those angry men
To boil and blow off steam,
And ambled, chuckling, home agen
To dream another dream.
Behold! Ive dreamed a dream once more!
He told em, frank and free
The sun, moon, and eleven stars
Have likewise bowed to me!
(Perhaps Astronomy has changed
Since Joseph saw the light,
But I have wondered what the sun
Was doing out at night.)
And when they dropped!you never heard,
In sheds or shanty bars,
Such awful language as escaped
From those eleven stars.
You know how Jacob-Israel loved
His hopeful youngest pup;
But, when he heard the latest dream,
It shook the old man up.
But Joseph talked his father round,
Who humoured every whim
(Perhaps old Jacob half-believed
They would bow down to him):
But, anyway, as always was,
He backed the youngest son,
And sent the others with the sheep
Out to the Check-em run.
Now Jacob, with that wondrous tact
That doting parents show,
Or, anxious for his sons out back,
Sent, of all others, Joe!
To see if it was well with them
(And they were not asleep),
With one eye on his brothers camp,
And one eye on the sheep.
He drew a blank on Check-em run
Got bushed, too, youll be bound.
A certain covetheres always one
Saw Joseph mooning round.
He asked him how it came to pass,
And what it was about,
And said, Theyre trav-lin now for grass
In Doothenfurther out.
He also muttered, Strike me blue!
While staring at the clothes
Hed never seen a jackaroo
With such a coat as Joes.
He set the nameless on the track,
And scratched his head to think,
But gave it best, and, riding back,
Said firmly, Strike me pink!
Twas blazing hot in Doothen then,
The sweat ran down in streams
It melted out the memory
Of even Josephs dreams!
Theyd had some trouble with the sheep,
Some Arabs and a shirk
It was a favourable time
For Joe to get to work.
They saw him coming, afar off
In this case, you might note,
Their eyesight wasnt wonderful,
Considering the coat.
And what with sheep, and dust, and flies,
And damned shirks in the swim
With sheep stealers, the brethren were
For absenteeing him.
And, add to that, he scared the kine
With his infernal coat
They trampled on the sheep and swine
And startled every goat.
The brethren had to round up then
As fast as ass could go,
And when they got to camp agen
Theyd fixed it up for Joe.
Save poor old Rubehe had the blight,
But, grafting all the same,
He only looked on family rows
As just a blooming shame.
Like many an easy-going man,
He had a cunning soul.
He said, We will not kill the kid,
But shove him in a hole,
And leave him there to dream o things
Theres not the slightest doubt
He meant to slip round after dark
And pull the youngster out,
And fill his gourd and tucker-bag,
And tell him Not to mind,
And start him on the back-track with
A gentle kick behind.
Some Tothersider prospectors
Had been there poking round;
You may depend that Reuben knew
Twas dry and shallow ground.
They dropped young Joseph in a hole
The giddy little goat
And left him there, to cool his heels,
Without his overcoat.
(Dont think that Moses, such a whale
On dry facts, thought it wet
To say, when theyd chucked Joseph in,
It was an empty pit!
So many things are preached and said
Whereer the Bible is
To prove that Moses never read
The proofs of Genesis.)
But lets get on. While having grub,
A brethren sniffed and seen
Some Ishmaelites pass through the scrub
Or O-asses, I mean.
Theyd been right out to Gilead
A rather longish trip
For camel-loads of balm, and myrrh,
And spicery for Gyp.
(Ive often seen the Afghans pass
With camel strings out back,
And thought twas somewhat similar
On that old Bible track.
I dont know much of balm and myrrh,
Whatever they may be,
But een when sheepskins were not there,
Ive smelt the spicery.)
It was the same in Canaan then
As it is here to-day:
A sudden thought jerked Judah up
For brofit straight away.
The brethren got on one end too
When Judah jumped and said,
Well sell the kid for what he brings!
Hes no good when hes dead.
And, to be short, they being Jews
The chosing of the earth
They sold him to the Ishmaelites
For more than twice his worth.
(Some Midianitish auctioneers
Were also on the job.)
Twas twenty bits of silver, which
I spose was twenty bob.
So they most comfortably got
Young Joseph off their hands,
For Ishmael never bothered much
About receipts or brands.
(They spake not of his dreams and cheek,
His laziness, or skite;
No doubt they thought the Ishmaelites
Would see to that all right.)
Then Reuben came; hed been around
To watch the sheep a bit,
And on his way back to the camp
He slipped round by the pit
To give young Joe a drink. He stared,
And, thinking Joe was dead,
He rent his gown like mad, and ran
For ashes for his head.
(As if that would do any good!
I only know that I
Cannot afford to rend my clothes
When my relations die.
I dont suppose they would come back,
Or that the world would care,
If I went howling for a year
With ashes in my hair.)
You say he counted on a new
Rig-out? Yes? And you know
That Jacob tore his garment too,
So that old cock wont crow.
Look here! You keep your smart remarks
Till after I am gone.
I wont have Reuben silver-tailed
Nor Pharaoh, later on.
The brethren humbugged Reuben well,
For fear hed take the track,
And sneak in on the Ishmaelites,
And steal young Joseph back,
Or fight it out if he was caught,
And dieas it might be
Or, at the best, go down with Joe
And into slavery.
Young Simeon slipped into the scrub,
To where the coat was hid,
And Judah stayed and wept with Rube,
While Levi killed a kid.
So they fixed up the wild-beast yarn,
And Hebrews sadly note
Considering the price of cloth
They had to spoil the coat.
(There was a yam about old Rube
That all true men despise,
Spread by his fathers concubines
A vicious strumpets lies.
But I believe old Moses was,
As we are, well aware
That Reuben stood in this last scene
The central figure there.)
I feel for poor old Israels grief,
Believing all the same
(And not with atheist unbelief)
That Jacob was to blame.
Twas ever so, and shall be done,
While one fond fool has breath
Fond folly drives the youngest son
To ruin and to death.
The caravan went jogging on
To Pharaohs royal town,
But Genesis gives no account
Of Josephs journey down.
I wouldnt be surprised to hear
He found it pretty rough,
But theres a bare chance that his hide,
As well as cheek, was tough.
I see them toiling through the heat,
In patches and in dirt,
With sand-grooved sandals on their feet,
And slaves without a shirt
The dust-caked thirst, the burning ground,
The mad and maddening flies,
That gathered like black goggles round
The piccaninnies eyes.
The Ishmaelites had tempers brief,
And whips of hide and gut,
And sometimes, praps, for Hagars sake,
Gave Joe an extra cut.
When, fainting by the way, he felt
The stimulating touch,
I have no doubt he often wished
He hadnt dreamed so much.
He didnt dream much on that trip,
Although he thought a lot.
However, they got down to Gyp
In good time, where he got
A wash and resthe needed both
And in the old slave-yard
Was sold to Captain Potiphar,
Of Pharaohs body-guard.
I PAUSE to state that later on
(And it seems worth the halt)
Smart Judah gat into a mess,
Though it was not his fault.
And I would only like to say,
In this most thankless task,
Wives sell to husbands every day,
And that without a mask.
But, what with family rows and drought,
And blessed women too,
The fathers of terrestrial tribes
Had quite enough to do.
They had to graft both day and night,
With no rest, save the last,
For when they were not grafting they
Were populating fast.
The Captain was a casual man,
But seemed a shrewd one too;
He got young Josephs measure soon,
And saw what he could do.
The Lord was with Joe, Moses said
I know that Joe had pluck
But I believe twas mostly check,
And his infernal luck.
The Captain made him manager,
And found that this arrangement paid
That much at least is clear.
And what with merchants, clerks, and slaves,
Joe led a busy life,
With one eye on the maid-servants,
And Jeames and Pottys wife.
The Captain seemed a casual man,
And Gyp was on the glide:
There was a growing tendency
To live and let things slide.
He left all things in Josephs hands
According to old Mose
And knew not what he had besides
His tucker and his clothes.
I guess he had a shrewd idea,
For it is now, as then
The world most often makes mistakes
With easy-going men.
The Captain often went away
For quietness and rest,
And, maybe, for some other things
Well, Potiphar knew best.
Perhaps the missus knew it too
At least, she should have known
And Joe was handsome, strange, and new,
And she was much alone.
It seems a funny business now,
But I was never there
Perhaps so long as cheques came in
The Captain didnt care.
Tis strange that Moses, such a whale
On details out of joint,
Should always come, in such a case,
So bluntly to the point.
He says Joe had a goodly form
Or person it should be
He says that she cast eyes on Joe,
And she said, Lie with me.
It took young Joseph sudden like.
Hed heard, while on the run,
Of other women who could lie,
And in more ways than one;
Of men who had been gaoled or hanged
As they are here to-day
(Likewise of lovers who were banged),
And so he edged away.
She never moved, and so he stayed
While she was there to hear,
For his infernal vanity
Was stronger than his fear.
He bragged his opportunity,
His strength, and godliness:
There is no greater in the house
Than I. (She made him less.)
Twas cant to brag of purity
And right in that household,
For what was he if not a slave,
And basely bought and sold?
Unmanly for a man to treat
A love-starved woman so,
And cowardly to humiliate
A spirit thrust so low.
She knew that Joseph was a spy
On her and all the rest,
And this, with his outspoken scorn,
Made reasons manifest.
She had her passions (dont be shocked,
For you have yours, no doubt),
And meant to take young Joseph down
And pay her husband out.
He was a slave, and bought and sold,
And I will say right here
His preaching was too manifold
And glib to be sincere,
When youth and looks turn goody-good
Youll see it at a glance
They have one eye to womans help
And both on the main chance.
Now, had old Rube been in his place
(All honour to his name),
Ill swear he would have taken things
Exactly as they came,
And kept it darkor fought it out,
As the ungodly can
But, whatsoeer he might have done,
He would have been a man!
Howbeit, the missus stuck to Joe,
Vindictive, vicious, grim,
And bore his sermons and rebuffs
Until she cornered him. . . .
He left his garment in her hand,
And gat him out of that. . . .
About the merits of the case
Ill say no morethats flat.
(He knew all right what she was at,
And Potiphar was out,
He went alone into the house
When no one was about.
He may have been half-drunk or mad,
He certainly was blind,
To run no further than the yard,
And leave his coat behind!)
But, seeing how our laws are fixed,
If I get in such dirt,
Ill straightway get me out of that
IfIve to leave my shirt.
But I will keep the running up,
If I have common-sense,
Nor stop this side of Jericho
To think of my defence.
Joe should have streaked for Suez straight,
And tried his luck in flight
For Canaan, where they looked on things
In quite another light.
Old Jacob had experience,
And hed have stuck to Joe.
He was a match for womens lies
That flabbergast us so.
The missus told the self-same tale,
And in the self-same way,
As our enfranchised females do
In police courts every day.
Too cowardly to breathe a breath
Against the vilest rip,
We send straight men to gaol or death,
Just as they did in Gyp.
Now, Potiphar was wondrous mild
Suspiciously, to say
The least. He didnt operate
On Joseph straight away.
Perhaps he knew his wife no less
Than Joe, yet had regard
For his own peace and quietness
So Joe got two years hard.
The Lord was with him, Moses said,
Yet his luck didnt fail,
For he got on the right side of
The governor of the gaol.
Perhaps hed heard of Mrs P.,
And cases like to Joes,
And knew as much of womans work
As anybody knows.
He made Joe super-laga sort
(The easy-going tendency
In Egypt seemed ingrained)
Left everything in Josephs hands,
Except, maybe, the keys;
And thereafter he let things slide,
And smoked his pipe in peace.
Now Pharaoh had some trouble with
His butler and his cook,
But Pharaoh seemed most lenient
With asses bought to book
He didnt cut the weak end off
Each absent-minded wretch,
But mostly sent the idiots up
To chokey for a stretch.
They found themselves in Josephs care,
And it would almost seem
Theyd got wind of his weaknesses,
For each one dreamed a dream.
They dreamed a dream; both of them. Each
Man his dream in one night:
Each man according to his dream
(And his own dream)thats right.
Next morning they made up their mugs,
And Joseph, passing through,
Asked them if they were feeling cronk,
And why they looked so blue?
They told him they had dreamed two dreams
(One each), and any dunce
Can understand how such remarks
Would intrest Joe at once.
And there was no interpreter,
They saidand that was why
Joe said that that belonged to God
But he would have a try.
Ive noticed this with Christians since,
And often thought it odd
They cannot keep their hands from things
They say belong to God.
The butler dreamedor, anyway,
He said so (understand)
Hed made some wine in Pharaohs cup,
And placed it in his hand
And Pharaoh placed the wine inside,
I spose. But, anyways,
There were three branches in the dream,
Which were, of course, three days.
The butler might have one again,
And Joseph, going strong,
By evil chance get wind of it,
And diagnose it wrong!
The cook had been the butlers mate,
And he thought (was it odd?)
That nightmare students such as Joe
Were safer far in quod.
He did repent him of his fault
Though it was rather late
For Pharaohs dreams had called a halt,
A reason of some weight.
The butler hoped to score, but twas
A risky thing to do,
And you will wonder, later on,
If Joe forgat him too.
Twas plain to any fool, so Joe
Said: Yet within three days
Shall Pharaoh lift thine head up, and
Restore thee to thy place.
Thou shalt deliver Pharaohs cup
Into his hand once more.
(And he shall drink the liquor down
Just as it was before.)
But promise, when thou art all right,
And nothing is amiss,
To speak to Pharaoh of my case,
And get me out of this.
For I was kidnapped, likewise gaoled,
For nothing that I know.
(And, granting his celibacy,
Twould seem that that was so.)
The cook, he was a godless cook,
But quietly he stood,
Til Josephs inspiration came
And he saw it was good.
And then his dream he did unfold,
All straight and unrehearsed
(Without a Lo! or a Behold!
Or windmill business first):
Id three old baskets on me ed
Now I aint tellin lies!
The top un full of fancy bread
An pork n kidney pies.
I didnt bother looking up,
For it was blazin ot
There come a flock of crimson crows
And scoffed the bleedin lot.
The cook he was a clever cook,
But hed been on the spree
He put the case as man to man,
And put it frank and free.
He patted Joseph on the back,
Told him to go ahead,
And Joseph met the cook half way,
And (man to man) he said:
Within three days shall Pharaoh lift
Thine head from off of thee,
And he shall hang thee by the heels
To the most handy tree.
A flock of crows shall pick thy bones
(And, to be trebly sure,
His slaves shall pound them up with stones
And use them for manure).
The butler passed an anxious night
He wanted matters fixed
For what if Joes prescriptions should
By some fool chance get mixed?
The cookwho was a careless cook
Wrote scoff words on the wall,
But, when the time was up, he wished
He hadnt dreamed at all.
And Pharaoh gave a feasthed got
Another chef this trip
And his old butler he restored
Unto his butlership;
But hanged the cook. And after that
Or this is how it seems
The butler straight away forgat
Young Joseph and his dreams.
And maybe he was wise, for all
That anybody knows,
Hed seen the headless baker hanged,
And picked clean by the crows.
It struck him, too, when looking back
While calm and free from cares,
That Joseph had an off hand way
Of fixing up nightmares.
The gaol did Joseph little good,
Except by starts and fits,
But saved old Egypt for a while,
And brightened up his wits.
And, lest you thought me most unjust
In matters lately gone,
You read and know how holy Joe
Sold Egypt later on.
Her weather prophets were as good
As ours are, every bit,
But Pharaoh took to dreaming dreams,
And made a mess of it.
(And but for thatI do not care
What anybody thinks
Id not have lost my overcoat,
And watch and chain, and links.)
Now Josephs and the prisoners dreams
Were plain as dreams could be,
And more especially Pharaohs dreams,
As far as I can see
The same man who invented them
Could well have read them too,
But any third-rate showman knows
That that would never do.
There must be Los, Beholds, and Yets,
And It must come to pass,
Til floods are gone, and tanks are dry,
And theres no crops nor grass.
And Likewise, Alsoes, Says unto,
And countless weary Ands,
Until Japan sends Chinamen
To irrigate the lands.
And Pharaoh must take off his ring
(The one from off his hand),
To put upon Joes little fin,
That all might understand.
And they must ride in chariots,
Have banquets everywhere,
And launch trips up the Hawkesbury,
To see Australia there.
(I dreamed last night that cattle fed
Along the river flats,
They bore the brands of all the States,
And looked like Queensland fats.
And lo! a mob of strangers came,
All bones, from horn to heel,
But they had nostrils breathing flame,
And they had horns of steel.
I dreamed that seven sheep were shorn
That went by seven tracks,
And strove to live the winter through
With sackcloth on their backs.
And lo! I dreamed, from east and west
There came two blades of heat
One blackened all the towns like fire,
Like drought one burnt the wheat.
A black slave and a white slave laid
A golden carpet down,
And yellow guards stood round about,
And he that came was brown.
Men slaved beneath the whip in pits,
Who now slave willingly
They sold their birthright for a score.
Now read those dreams for me!)
But Joseph fixed up Pharaohs dreams
As quick as I can tell
And, for Australias sake, I wish
That mine were fixed as well,
And nationalized from trusts and rings
And shady covenants;
Butwe have thirteen little kings
Of thirteen Parliaments.
The years of plenty soon run out,
And, from the cricket score,
Well turn to face the years of drought
And might-be years of war.
With neither money, men, nor guns,
With nothing but despair
But I get tired of printing truths
For useno matter where.
Joe said to seek a wise man out,
And Pharaoh took the Jew
Adventurers fix up our dreams,
And we elect them too.
I mean no slur on any tribe
(My best friend was a Yid),
But we let boodlers shape our ends,
And just as Pharaoh did.
But Joseph did spy out the land,
If not for his own good
(He only boodled on the grand,
It must be understood).
He made a corner first in wheat,
And did it thoroughly
No trust has ever seen since then
So great a shark as he.
And when the fearful famine came,
And corn was in demand,
He grabbed, in Gods and Pharaohs name,
The money, stock, and land.
(He knew the drought was very bad
In Canaan; crops were gone;
But never once inquired how his
Old Dad was getting on.)
And after many barren years
Of spirit-breaking work,
I see the brethren journeying down
From Canaans West-o-Bourke
And into Egypt to buy corn
As, at this very hour,
My brethren toil through blazing heat
The weary miles for flour.
Twas noble of our Joseph then,
The Governor of the land,
To bait those weary, simple men,
With monies in their hand;
To gratify his secret spite,
As only cowards can;
And preen his blasted vanity,
And strike through Benjamin.
He put a cup in Bennys sack,
And sent them on their way,
And sent the Pleece to bring em back
Before theyd gone a day.
The constable was well aware
Of Josephs little plan,
And most indignant when he caught
The wretched caravan.
He yelped: Have such things come to pass?
Howld hard there! Jerk em up!
Put down yer packs from every ass,
And fork out Phaireys cup!
It makes me sick, upon my soul,
The gratichood of man!
Ye had the feast, and then ye shtole
His silver billy-can.
They swore that they had seen no cup,
And after each had sworn
They said the sandstorm coming up
Would simply spoil the corn.
They begged that he would wait until
They reached the nearest barn.
He said, O thats a wind that shook
The barley sort of yarn!
(Now Im no sergeant, understand
Ye neednt call me that
Oi want no sugar wid me sand
Whin Joseph smells a rat.)
Take down yer sacks from off yer backs
The other asses too
And rip the neck of every sack
The boys will see yer through.
The cup was found in Benjamins,
As all the worlds aware
The constable seemed most surprised,
Because hed put it there.
A greenhorn raised on asses milk!
Well, this beats all I know!
And then, when he had cautioned them,
He took the gang in tow.
And when they started out to rend
Their turbans and their skirts,
He said, Ye drunken lunatics,
Ye neednt tear yer shirts
Yere goin where theres ladies now,
So keep yer shirts on, mind.
(The Guvnor got in trouble wanst
For leavin his behind.)
And Joseph gaoled and frightened them.
(The feast was not amiss:
It showed him most magnanimous
With all that wasnt his.)
He took some extra graveyard pulls
At his old Dads grey hairs,
Til Judah spoke up like a man
And spoke up unawares.
Then Joseph said that he was Joe,
With Egypt in his clutch
You will not be surprised to know
It didnt cheer them much.
And when he saw they were afraid,
And bowed beneath the rod,
He summoned snuffle to his aid,
And put it all on God.
And now the brethren understood,
With keen regret, no doubt,
That sin is seldom any good
Unless its carried out.
For after that heart-breaking trip
Across the scorching sands
They found themselves in Josephs grip,
With Benny on their hands.
(Poor Reuben, to persuade his dad
To let the youngster come,
Had left his own sons lives in pledge
For Benjamin, at home.
But life is made of many fires
And countless frying-pans
As fast as we get rid of Joes
Were plagued by Benjamins.)
Joe had a use for them, so he
Bade them to have no fear.
He said to them, It was not you,
But God, who sent me here.
He sent me on to save your lives;
He hath sent you to me,
To see to you and all your wives,
And your posterity.
The Lord God hath exalted me,
And made me His right hand
A father unto Pharaoh, and
A ruler in the land,
And likewise lord of Egypt
He said a few things more,
And then he got to business straight
Ive heard such cant before.
Those who have read will understand
I never mean to scoff,
But I hate all hypocrisy
And blasted showing-off.
How cunningly our holy Joe
Fixed up his tribes affairs
For his own ends, and sprang the job
On Pharaoh unawares.
The fame was heard in Pharaohs house,
Where peace and kindness thrived,
Saying, Josephs brethren are come
(Joes brothers have arrived).
And Pharaoh heard, and was well pleased,
For he was white all through.
(And Moses says, without remark,
It pleased the servants too.)
But Pharaoh promptly put an end
To Josephs mummery.
He said, Send waggons up, and bid
Thy people come to me.
Thou art commanded! Furnish them
With money and with food;
And say that I will give them land,
And see that it is good.
And Jacobs sons chucked up their runs
With blessings short and grim,
And Jacob took the stock and gear
And all his seed with him.
They sent the family tree ahead,
And Pharaoh read that same
(They found him very tired, twas said,
And misty when they came).
And Pharaoh unto Joseph spake
Most kind, though wearily:
Thy father and thy brethren all
Are now come unto thee;
And Egypt is before thee now,
So in the best land make
Thy father and thy brethren dwell
The land of Goshen take;
And there, unhindered, let them thrive,
In comfort let them dwell,
Apart and free. My people love
All shepherds none too well
But if thou knowest amongst them men
Of proved activity,
Then make them rulers over all
My flocks and herds for me.
They brought five brethren unto him,
And he was very kind
Perhaps he looked those brethren through,
And saw what lay behind.
His head he rested on his hand,
And smoothed his careworn brow,
He gazed on Israel thoughtfully,
And asked, How old art thou?
And Jacob told him, and was touched.
He said his days were few
And evil. They had not attained
To those his father knew.
But Jacob only had himself,
And no one else, to thank
If Joe had given his grey hairs
A second graveyard yank.
I think that Pharaoh was a man
Who always understood,
But was content to stand aside
If for his peoples good,
And seem not missed the while. He knew
His meritsand no pride
And twas a grievous day for Jew
And Gentile when he died.
You know the rest of Josephs tale,
And well the poor Egyptians knew
House agent on the grand old scale,
He boodled till the land was blue.
He squeezed them tight, and bled them white
. . . . .
Until a Pharaoh came in sight
Who didnt know him from a crow.
The Patriarchs, right back from Dad
To where the line begins,
Were great at passing blessings on,
Together with their sins.
Old Noah was about the first
Cursed Ham till all was blue,
But twas with some effect he cursed,
And with good reason too.
And when the time had come to pass
For Jacob to be gone,
He polished up his fathers sins
And calmly passed them on.
He called his twelve sons round his bed
(Lest some good might befall),
He called his twelve sons to be blessed,
And cursed them, one and all
Save Joseph; and the rest had cause
To curse him ere they got
The English, who have every day
More cause to damn the lot.
And if they crossed the Red Sea now,
I guess wed let them go,
With Satan hurry Kohenstein
And God speed Ikey Mo!
And lest my Jewish friends be wroth
As they wont be with me
Ill say that there is Jewish blood
In my posterity.
This verse, I trust, shall profit him
When he has ceased to grow
My firstborn, who was known as Jim,
But whose true name is Joe.
Ive written much that is to blame,
But I have only sought to show
That hearts of men were just the same
Some forty centuries ago.
All kindness comes with womans love
That which she claims is due to her
Not man! not man! but God above
Dare judge the wife of Potiphar.
And Jacob shall be ever blind
To reason and posterity,
In that fond folly of mankind
That is born of impotency.
No parents love or parents wealth
Shall ever fairly portioned be,
Faith shall not come, except by stealth,
Nor justice in one family.
And Joseph proved unto this hour
Just what he was in Holy Writ
A selfish tyrant in his power,
And, up or down, a hypocrite.
And Joseph still, whateer befall,
But gives his place to Benjamin,
And Reuben bears the brunt of all,
Though Judah does the best he can.
The hearts of men shall never change
While one man dies and one is born,
We journey yet, though ways seem strange,
Down into Egypt to buy corn.
Some prosper there, and they forget;
And some go down, and are forgot;
And Pride and Self betray us yet,
Till Pharaohs rise that know us not.
But kindliness shall live for aye,
And, though we well our fate deserve,
Samaritans shall pass that way,
And kings like Pharaoh rule to serve.
Were fighting out of Egypts track
And, ah! the fight is ever grand
Although, in Canaan or Out Back,
We never reach the Promised Land.