Editing the Erotica Issue

Crocuses glistened. Sparrows throbbed. Would he approve Of her nipples of mauve?And that was what had first attracted him, her canvas flaps.A father of four, he is nevertheless kittenish.Her skirt had a stuffed look, which could only mean she was wearing ruffled panties.Oh, nutritious mound of sprouts.Richard and Regina had been friends for a long time.Dear editors: When I saw you were doing an erotica issue, I thought, woodylicious!And in the velour pantsuit of evening, even the sandflies laughed to see their joy.Richard throbbed. Regina glistened.In the land of Zamore, mailmen had a dual function.'Oh, excuse me, I thought everyone was gone for the night,' she says, foaming at the ears.Her heart throbbed, and the surgeon saw that it was glistening in there. 'Quickly! More crumpled wet sheets!'He carries me upstairs under one arm, like a chicken. Left a hickey as big as a toonie, Monday acted like he never knew me.Dear editors: I have been waiting years to share my expertise in this very special field of writing.Are you even glistening? I'm throbbing to you.Oranges, all over.