This Man Jones

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This man Jones was what you'd call
  A feller 'at had no sand at all;
  Kind o' consumpted, and undersize,
  And sailor-complected, with big sad eyes,
  And a kind-of-a sort-of-a hang-dog style,
  And a sneakin' sort-of-a half-way smile
  'At kind o' give him away to us
  As a preacher, maybe, er somepin' wuss.

  Didn't take with the gang--well, no--
  But still we managed to use him, though,--
  Coddin' the gilly along the rout',
  And drivin' the stakes 'at he pulled out--
  Far I was one of the bosses then,
  And of course stood in with the canvasmen;
  And the way we put up jobs, you know,
  On this man Jones jes' beat the show!

  Ust to rattle him scandalous,
  And keep the feller a-dodgin' us,
  And a-shyin' round half skeered to death,
  And afeerd to whimper above his breath;
  Give him a cussin', and then a kick,
  And then a kind-of-a back-hand lick--
  Jes' far the fun of seem' him climb
  Around with a head on most the time.

  But what was the curioust thing to me,
  Was along o' the party--let me see,--
  Who was our "Lion Queen" last year?--
  Mamzelle Zanty, or De La Pierre?--
  Well, no matter--a stunnin' mash,
  With a red-ripe lip, and a long eye-lash,
  And a figger sich as the angels owns--
  And one too many far this man Jones.

  He'd allus wake in the afternoon,
  As the band waltzed in on the lion-tune,
  And there, from the time 'at she'd go in
  Till she'd back out of the cage agin,
  He'd stand, shaky and limber-kneed--
  'Specially when she come to "feed
  The beasts raw meat with her naked hand"--
  And all that business, you understand.

  And it _was_ resky in that den--
  Far I think she juggled three cubs then,
  And a big "green" lion 'at used to smash
  Collar-bones far old Frank Nash;
  And I reckon now she hain't fergot
  The afternoon old "Nero" sot
  His paws on _her_!--but as far me,
  It's a sort-of-a mixed-up mystery:--

  Kind o' remember an awful roar,
  And see her back far the bolted door--
  See the cage rock--heerd her call
  "God have mercy!" and that was all--
  Far they ain't no livin' man can tell
  _What_ it's like when a thousand yell
  In female tones, and a thousand more
  Howl in bass till their throats is sore!

  But the keeper said 'at dragged her out,
  They heerd some feller laugh and shout--
  "Save her! Quick! I've got the cuss!"
  And yit she waked and smiled on _us!_
  And we daren't flinch, far the doctor said,
  Seein' as this man Jones was dead,
  Better to jes' not let her know
  Nothin' o' that far a week er so.

© James Whitcomb Riley