Insomnia and the Seven Steps to Grace

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At dawn the panther of the heavens peers over the edge of the world. 
She hears the stars gossip with the sun, sees the moon washing her lean 
darkness with water electrified by prayers. All over the world there are those 
who can't sleep, those who never awaken. 

My granddaughter sleeps on the breast of her mother with milk on 
her mouth. A fly contemplates the sweetness of lactose.

Her father is wrapped in the blanket of nightmares. For safety he 
approaches the red hills near Thoreau. They recognize him and sing for 
him. 

Her mother has business in the house of chaos. She is a prophet dis- 
guised as a young mother who is looking for a job. She appears at the 
door of my dreams and we put the house back together. 

Panther watches as human and animal souls are lifted to the heavens by 
rain clouds to partake of songs of beautiful thunder. 

Others are led by deer and antelope in the wistful hours to the vil- 
lages of their ancestors. There they eat cornmeal cooked with berries 
that stain their lips with purple while the tree of life flickers in the sun. 

It's October, though the season before dawn is always winter. On the 
city streets of this desert town lit by chemical yellow travelers 
search for home. 

Some have been drinking and intimate with strangers. Others are 
escapees from the night shift, sip lukewarm coffee, shift gears to the 
other side of darkness. 

One woman stops at a red light, turns over a worn tape to the last 
chorus of a whispery blues. She has decided to live another day. 

The stars take notice, as do the half-asleep flowers, prickly pear and 
chinaberry tree who drink exhaust into their roots, into the earth. 

She guns the light to home where her children are asleep and may 
never know she ever left. That their fate took a turn in the land of 
nightmares toward the sun may be untouchable knowledge. 

It is a sweet sound. 

The panther relative yawns and puts her head between her paws. 
She dreams of the house of panthers and the seven steps to grace. 

© Joy Harjo