One Day And Another: A Lyrical Eclogue – Part III

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LATE SUMMER

  _Heat lightning flickers in one cloud,
  As in a flow'r a firefly;
  Some rain-drops, that the rose-bush bowed,
  Jar through the leaves and dimly lie;
  Among the trees, now low, now loud,
  The whispering breezes sigh.
  The place is lone; the night is hushed;
  Upon the path a rose lies crushed._


1

_Musing he strolls among the quiet lanes by farm and field._

  Now rests the season in forgetfulness,
  Careless in beauty of maturity;
  The ripened roses 'round brown temples, she
  Fulfils completion in a dreamy guess.
  Now Time grants night the more and day the less;
  The gray decides; and brown
  Dim golds and drabs in dulling green express
  Themselves and redden as the year goes down.
  Sadder the fields where, thrusting hoary high
  Their tasseled heads, the Lear-like corn-stocks die,
  And, Falstaff-like, buff-bellied pumpkins lie.--
  Deeper to tenderness,
  Sadder the blue of hills that lounge along
  The lonesome west; sadder the song
  Of the wild red-bird in the leafage yellow.--
  Deeper and dreamier, ay!
  Than woods or waters, leans the languid sky
  Above lone orchards where the cider-press
  Drips and the russets mellow.

  Nature grows liberal: from the beechen leaves
  The beech-nuts' burs their little pockets thrust,
  Bulged with the copper of the nuts that rust;
  Above the grass the spendthrift spider weaves
  A web of silver for which Dawn designs
  Thrice twenty rows of pearls; beneath the oak,
  That rolls old roots in many gnarly lines,--
  The polished acorns, from their saucers broke,
  Strew wildwood agates.--On sonorous pines
  The far wind organs, but the forest near
  Is silent; and the blue-white smoke
  Of burning brush, beyond that field of hay,
  Hangs like a pillar in the atmosphere;
  But now it shakes--it breaks; and all the vines
  And tree-tops tremble;--see! the wind is here!
  Billowing and boisterous; and the smiling day
  Rejoices with its clamor. Earth and sky
  Resound with glory of its majesty,
  Impetuous splendor of its rushing by.--
  But on those heights the forest yet is still,
  Expectant of its coming. Far away
  Each anxious tree upon each waiting hill
  Tingles anticipation, as in gray
  Surmise of rapture. Now the first gusts play,
  Like little laughs, about their rippling spines;
  And now the wildwood, one exultant sway,
  Shouts--and the light at each tumultuous pause,
  The light that glooms and shines,
  Seems hands in wild applause.

  How glows that garden! though the white mists keep
  The vagabonding flowers reminded of
  Decay that comes to slay in open love,
  When the full moon hangs cold and night is deep;
  Unheeding still, their happy colors leap
  And laugh encircled of the scythe of death,--
  Like lovely children he prepares to reap,--
  Staying his blade a breath
  To mark their beauty ere, with one last sweep,
  He lays them dead and turns away to weep.--
  Let me admire,--
  Ere yet the sickle of the coming cold
  Has mown them down,--their beauties manifold:--
  How like to spurts of fire
  That scarlet salvia lifts its blooms, which heap
  Yon space of sunlight. And, as sparkles creep
  Through charring parchment, up that window's screen
  The cypress dots with crimson all its green,
  The haunt of many bees.
  And, showering down cascaded lattices,
  That nightshade bleeds with berries; drops of blood,
  In clusters hanging 'mid the blue monk's-hood.

  There in the garden old
  The bright-hued clumps of zinnias unfold
  Their formal flowers; and the marigold
  Lifts its pinched shred of orange sunset caught
  And elfed in petals. The nasturtium,
  All pungent leaved and bitter of perfume,
  Hangs up its goblin bonnet, fairy bought
  From Gnomeland. There, predominant, red,
  And arrogant the dahlia lifts its head,
  Beside the balsam's rosy horns of honey,
  Within the murmuring, sunny
  Dry wildness of the weedy flower bed;
  Where crickets and the weed-bugs, noon and night,
  Sing dirges for the flowers that soon will die,
  For flowers already dead.--
  I seem to hear the passing Summer sigh;
  A voice, that seems to weep,
  "Too soon, too soon the Beautiful passes by!"--
  If I perchance might peep
  Beneath those leaves of podded hollyhocks,
  That the bland wind with odorous whispers rocks,
  I might behold her,--white
  And weary,--Summer, 'mid her flowers asleep,
  Her drowsy flowers asleep,
  The withered poppies knotted in her locks.


2

_He is reminded of another day with her._

  The hips were reddening on this rose,
  Those haws were hung with fire,
  That day we went this way that goes
  Up hills of bough and brier.
  This hooked thorn caught her gown and seemed
  Imploring her to linger;
  Upon her hair a sun-ray streamed
  Like some baptizing finger.

  This false-foxglove, so golden now
  With yellow blooms like bangles,
  Was fading then. But yonder bough,--
  The sumach's plume entangles,--
  Was like an Indian's painted face;
  And, like a squaw, attended
  That bush, in vague vermilion grace
  With beads of berries splendid.

  And here we turned to mount that hill,
  Down which the wild brook tumbles;
  And, like to-day, that day was still,
  And soft winds swayed the umbles
  Of these wild carrots lawny gray;
  And there, deep-dappled o'er us,
  An orchard stretched; and in our way
  Dropped ripened fruit before us.

  A muffled thud the pippin fell,
  And at our feet rolled dusty;
  A hornet clinging to its bell,
  The pear lay bruised and rusty.
  The smell of pulpy peach and plum,
  From which the juice oozed yellow,
  Around which bees made sleepy hum,
  Filled warm the air and mellow.

  And then we came where, many hued,
  The wet wild-morning-glory
  Hung its balloons in shadows dewed
  For dawning's offertory.
  With bush and bramble, far away,
  Beneath us stretched the valley,
  Cleft of one creek, as clear as day,
  That bickered musically.

  The brown, the bronze, the green, the red
  Of weed and brier ran riot
  To walls of woods, whose vistas led
  To shadowy nooks of quiet.
  Long waves of feathering golden-rod
  Ran through the gray in patches;
  As in a cloud the gold of God
  Burns, that the sunset catches.

  And there, above the blue hills, rolled,
  Like some vast conflagration,
  The sunset, flaming rose and gold,
  We watched in exultation.
  Then turning homeward, she and I
  Went in love's sweet derangement--
  How different now seem earth and sky,
  Since this undreamed estrangement!


3

_He enters the woods. He sits down despondently._

  Here where the day is dimmest,
  And silence company,
  Some might find sympathy
  For loss, or grief the grimmest,
  In each great-hearted tree--
  Here where the day is dimmest--
  But, ah, there's none for me!

  In leaves might find communion,
  Returning sigh for sigh,
  For love the heavens deny;
  The love that yearns for union,
  Yet parts and knows not why.--
  In leaves might find communion--
  But, ah, not I, not I!

  My eyes with tears are aching.--
  Why has she written me?
  And will no longer see?--
  My heart with grief is breaking,
  With grief that this should be--
  My eyes with tears are aching--
  Why has she written me?


4

_He proceeds in the direction of a stream._

  Better is death than sleep,
  Better for tired eyes.--
  Why do we weep and weep
  When near us the solace lies?
  There in that stream, that, deep,--
  Reflecting woods and skies,--
  Could comfort all our sighs.

  The mystery of things,
  Of dreams, philosophies,
  'Round which the mortal clings,
  _That_ can unriddle these.--
  What is't the water sings?
  What is't it promises?--
  End to all miseries!


5

_He seats himself on a rock and gazes steadily into the stream._

  And here alone I sit and it is so!--
  O vales and hills! O valley lands and knobs!
  What cure have you for woe?
  None that my heart may know!--
  The wearying sameness!--yet this thing is so!--
  This thing is so, and still the waters flow,
  The leaves drop slowly down; the daylight throbs
  With sun and wind, and yet this thing is so!--
  Here, at this culvert's mouth,
  The shadowy water, flowing towards the south,
  Seems deepest, stagnant-stayed.--
  What is there yonder that makes me afraid?--
  Of my own self afraid?--what is't below?
  What power draws me to the striate stream?
  What evil or what dream?--
  Me, dropping pebbles in the quiet wave,
  That echoes, strange as music in a cave,
  Hollow and thin; vibrating in the shade
  Like sound of tears--the shadow of some woe,
  An ailing phantom that will not be laid,
  Since this is so, since this sad thing is so.

  There, in the water, how the lank green grass
  Mats its rank blades, each blade a crooked kris,
  Making a marsh; 'mid which the currents miss
  Their rock-born melodies.
  But there, and there one sees
  The wide-belled mallow, as within a glass,
  Long-pistiled, leaning o'er
  The root-contorted shore,
  As if its own pink image it would kiss.
  And there the tangled wild-potato vine
  Lifts conical blossoms, each a cup of wine,
  As pale as moonlight is.
  And there tall gipsy lilies, all a-sway,
  Their savage, coppery faces, fierce of hue,
  Dull purple-streaked, bend in inverted view.--
  And where the stream around those rushes creeps,
  The dragon-fly, in endless error, keeps
  Sewing the pale gold gown of day
  With tangled stitches of a burning blue:
  Its brilliant body seems a needle fine,
  A thread of azure ray.
  But here below me where my pensive shade
  Looks up at me, the stale stream stagnant lies,
  Deep, dark, but clear and silent; save the hiss
  Of bursting bubbles in the spawny ooze.--
  All flowers here refuse
  To grow or blossom; beauties, too, are few,
  That haunt its depths: no glittering minnows braid
  Its languid crystal; and no gravels strew
  With colored orbs its bottom. Half afraid
  I shrink from my own eyes
  There in its cairngorm skies--
  I know not why, and yet it seems 'tis this:--

  I know not what--but where the kildees wade
  Slim in the foamy scum,
  From that direction hither doth it come,
  And makes my heart afraid.
  Nearer it draws to where those low rocks ail,
  Warm rocks on which some water-snake hath clomb
  To bask its spotted body, coiling numb.--
  At first it seemed a prism on the grail,
  A bubble's prism yonder; then a trail,
  An angled sparkle in a shadow, swayed
  Frog-like through deeps, to crouch a flaccid, pale,
  Squat bulk below.... Reflected trees and skies,
  And breeze-blown clouds that lounge at sunny loss,
  Seem in its stolid eyes,
  Deep down--the dim disguise
  Of something ghoulish there, whose features fail,
  Then come again in rhythmic waviness,
  With arms like tentacles that seem to press
  Up towards me. Limbs that writhe, and fade,
  And clench--tough limbs, that twist and cross
  Through flabby hair like smoky moss.

  How horrible to see this thing at night!
  Or when the sunset slants its brimstone light
  Above the water! when, in phantom flight,
  The will-o'-the-wisps, perhaps, above it reel.
  Then haply would it rise, a rotting green,
  Up, up, and gather me with arms of steel,
  Soft steel, and drag me where the wave is white,
  Beneath that boulder there, that plants a keel
  Against the ripple there, a shoulder lean.--
  No! no! I must away before 'tis night!
  Before the fire-flies dot
  The dusk with sulphur blurrings bright!
  Before upon yon height
  The white wild-carrots vanish from the sight;
  And boneset blossoms, tossing there in clusters,
  Fade to a ridge, a streak of ghostly lustres.
  And in yon sunlit spot,
  That cedar tree is not!--
  But a huge cap instead, that, half-asleep,
  Some giant dropped while driving home his sheep.
  And 'mid those fallow browns
  And russet grays, the fragrant peak
  Of yonder timothy stack,
  Is not a stack, but something hideous, black,
  That threatens and, grotesquely demon, frowns.

  I must away from here.--
  Already dusk draws near.
  The owlet's dolorous hoot
  Sounds quavering as a gnome's wild flute;
  The toad, within the wet,
  Begins to tune its goblin flageolet.
  The slow sun sinks behind
  Those hills; and like a withered cheek,
  Distorted there, the spectral moon's defined
  Above those trees; above that mass of vines
  That, like a wrecked appentice, roofs those pines.--
  Oh, I am faint and weak.--
  I must away, away,
  Before the close of day!--
  Already at my back
  I feel the woods grow black;
  And sense the evening wind,
  Guttural and gaunt and blind,
  Snarling behind me like a were-wolf pack.--
  When will it cease to pierce,
  This anguish dull and fierce,
  At heart and soul? when will it let me go?--

  At last, with footsteps slow,
  With half averted cheek,
  I've reached this woodland creek,
  Far from that place of fear;
  And still I seem to hear
  A dripping footstep near;
  A gurgling voice dim glimmering at my ear.
  I try to fly!--I can not!--yes, and no!--
  What horror holds me!--God! that obscene, slow,
  Sure mastering chimera there
  Has yet some horrible feeler round my neck,
  Or in my scattered hair!--
  Off! off! thou devil's coil!--
  The waters, thrashing, boil--
  Once more I'm free! once more I'm free!
  Glad of that firefly fleck,
  That, like a lamp of golden fairy oil,
  Lights me the way I flee.--
  No more I stare, magnetic-fixed; nor reck,
  Nor little care to foil
  The madness there! the murder there! that slips
  Back to its lair of slime, that seeps and drips,
  That sought in vain to fasten on my lips.


6

_Taking a letter from his pocket, he hurries away._

  What can it mean for me? What have I done to her?
  I, in our season of love as a sun to her:
  She, all its heaven of silvery, numberful
  Stars and its moon shining golden and slumberful;
  Who on my life, that was thorny and lowery,
  Gazed--and made beautiful; smiled--and made flowery.
  She, to my heart and my soul a divinity!
  She, who--I dreamed!--seemed my spirit's affinity!--
  What have I done to her? what have I done?

  What can she mean by this?--what have I said to her!
  I, who have idolized, worshipped, and pled to her;
  Sung for her, laughed for her, sorrowed and sighed for her;
  Lived for her only; would gladly have died for her!
  See!--she has written me thus! she has written me....
  Sooner would dagger or serpent had smitten me!--
  Would you had shriveled ere ever you'd read of it,
  Eyes, that are wide to the bitterest dread of it!--
  What have I said to her? what have I said?

  What shall I make of it? I who am trembling,
  Dreading to lose her.--A moth, the dissembling
  Flame of the candle attracts with its guttering,
  Flattering on till its body lies fluttering,
  Scorched in the summer night.--Foolish, importunate,
  Why did'st thou leave the cool flowers, unfortunate!--
  Such has she been to me making me such to her,
  Slaying me, saying I never was much to her!--
  What shall I make of it? what can I make?

  Love, in thy everglades, moaning and motionless,
  Look, I have fallen; the evil is potionless.
  I,--with no thought but the heav'n that did lock us in,--
  Set naked feet 'mid the cottonmouth, moccasin,
  Under the roses, the Cherokee, eyeing me.--
  I,--in the sky with the egrets that, flying me,
  Loosened like blooms from magnolias, rose slenderly,
  White and pale pink; where the mocking-bird tenderly
  Sang, making vistas of mosses melodious;--
  Wandered unheeding my steps in the odious
  Ooze and the venom. I followed the wiry
  Violet curve of thy star falling fiery--
  So was I lost in night! thus am undone!

  Have I not told to her--living alone for her--
  Purposed unfoldments of deeds I had sown for her
  Here in the soil of my soul? their variety
  Endless--and ever she answered with piety.
  See! it has come to this--all the tale's suavity
  At the ninth chapter grows wretched to gravity;
  Cruel as death all our beautiful history--
  Close it!--the finis is more than a mystery.--
  Yes, I will go to her; yes, I will speak.


7

_After the last meeting; the day following._

  I seem to see her still; to see
  That dim blue room. Her perfume comes
  From lavender folds draped dreamily--
  One blossom of brocaded blooms--
  Some stuff of orient looms.

  I seem to hear her speak; and back
  Where lies the sun on books and piles
  Of porcelain and bric-a-brac,
  A tall clock ticks above the tiles,
  Where Love's framed profile smiles.

  I hear her say, "Ah, had I known!--
  I suffer too for what has been--
  For what must be."--A wild ache shone
  In her sad eyes that seemed to lean
  On something far, unseen.

  And as in sleep my own self seems
  Outside my suffering self.--I flush
  'Twixt facts and undetermined dreams,
  And wait as silent as that hush
  Of lilac light and plush.

  Smiling, but suffering, I feel,
  Beneath that face, so sweet and sad,
  In those pale temples, thoughts like steel
  Pierce burningly.--I had gone mad
  Had I once deemed her glad.--

  Unconsciously, with eyes that yearn
  To look beyond the present far
  For some faint future hope, I turn--
  Above her garden, day's fierce star,
  Vermilion at the window bar,

  Sank sullenly--like love's own sun--
  An omen of our future life.--
  And then the memory of one
  Rich day she'd said she'd be my wife
  Set heart and brain at strife.

  Again amid the heavy hues,
  Soft crimson, seal, and satiny gold
  Of flowers there, I stood 'mid dews
  With her; deep in her garden old,
  While sunset fires uprolled.

  And now.... It can not be! and yet
  To feel 'tis so!--In heart and brain
  To know 'tis so!--while warm and wet
  I seem to smell those scents again,
  Verbena-scents and rain.

  I turn, in hope she'll bid me stay.
  Again her cameo beauty mark
  Set in that smile.--She turns away.
  No word of love! not even a spark
  Of hope to cheer the dark!

  That sepia sketch--conceive it so--
  A jaunty head with mouth and eyes
  Tragic beneath a rose-chapeau,
  Silk-masked, unmasking--it denies
  The look we half surmise,

  We know is there. 'Tis thus we read
  The true beneath the false; perceive
  The smile that hides the ache.--Indeed!
  Whose soul unmasks?... Not mine!--I grieve,--
  Oh God!--but laugh and leave....


8

_He walks aimlessly on._

  Beyond those twisted apple-trees,
  That partly hide the old brick-barn,
  Its tattered arms and tattered knees
  A scare-crow tosses to the breeze
  Among the shocks of corn.

  My heart is gray as is the day,
  In which the rain-wind drearily
  Makes all the sounding branches sway,
  And in the hollows far away
  The dry leaves rustle wearily.

  And soon we'll hear the far wild-geese
  Honk in frost-bitten heavens under
  Arcturus; when my walks must cease,
  And by the fireside's log-heaped peace
  I'll sit and nod and ponder.--

  When every fall of this loud creek
  Is architectured ice; and hinted
  Brown acres of yon corn stretch bleak,
  White-sculptured with the snows, that streak
  The hillsides bitter-tinted,

  I'll sit and dream of that glad morn
  We went down ways where blooms were blowing;
  That dusk we strolled through flower and thorn,
  By tasseled meads of cane and corn,
  To where the stream was flowing.

  Again I'll oar our boat among
  The lily-pads that dot the river;
  And reach her hat the grape-vine long
  Strikes in the stream; we'll sing that song,
  And then.... I'll wake and shiver.

  Why is it that my mind reverts
  To that sweet past? while full of parting
  The present is; so full of hurts
  And heartache, that what it asserts
  Adds only to the smarting.

  How often shall I sit and think
  Of that sweet past! through lowered lashes
  What-might-have-been trace link by link;
  Then watch it gradually sink
  And crumble into ashes.

  Outside I'll hear the sad wind weep
  Like some lone spirit, grieved, forsaken;
  Then shuddering to bed shall creep
  And lie awake, or haply sleep
  A sleep by visions shaken.

  Dreams of the past that paint and draw
  The present in a hue that's wanting;
  A scare-crow thing of sticks and straw,--
  Like that just now I, passing, saw,--
  Its empty tatters flaunting.


9

_He compares the present day with a past one._

  The sun a splintered splendor was
  In trees, whose waving branches blurred
  Its disc, that day we went together,
  'Mid wild-bee hum and whirring buzz
  Of insects, through the fields that purred
  With Summer in the perfect weather.

  So sweet it was to look and lean
  To her young face and feel the light
  Of eyes that met my own unsaddened!
  Her laugh, that left lips more serene;
  Her speech, that blossomed like the white
  Life-everlasting there and gladdened.

  Maturing Summer! you were fraught
  With more of beauty then than now
  Parades the pageant of September:
  Where what-is-now contrasts in thought
  With what-was-once, that bloom and bough
  Can only help me to remember.


10

_He pauses before a deserted house by the roadside._

  Through iron-weeds and roses
  And ancient beech and oak,
  Old porches it discloses
  Above the weeds and roses,
  The drizzling raindrops soak.

  Neglected walks a-tangle
  With dodder-strangled grass;
  And every mildewed angle
  Heaped with dead leaves that spangle
  The paths that round it pass.

  The creatures there that bury
  And hide within its rooms,
  And spidered closets--very
  Dim with gray webs--will hurry
  Out when the twilight glooms.

  Owls roost in room and basement;
  Bats haunt its hearth and porch,
  And through some paneless casement
  Flit, in the moon's enlacement,
  Or firefly's twinkling torch.

  There is a sense of frost here,
  And gusts that sigh away.--
  What was it that was lost here?
  Long, long ago was lost here?--
  Can anybody say?

  My foot perhaps would startle
  Some bird that mopes within;
  Some owl above its portal,
  That stares upon the mortal
  As on a thing of sin.

  The rutty road winds by it
  This side the dusty toll.--
  Why do I stop to eye it?
  My heart can not deny it--
  The house is like my soul.


11

_He proceeds on his way._

  I bear a burden--look not therein!
  Naught will you find but sorrow and sin;
  Sorrow and sin that wend with me
  Wherever I go. And misery,
  A gaunt companion, a wretched bride,
  Goes always with me, side by side.

  Sick of myself and all the Earth,
  I ask my soul now--is life worth
  The little pleasure that we gain
  For all our sorrow and our pain?
  The love, to which we gave our best,
  That turns a mockery and a jest?


12

_Among the twilight fields._

  The things we love, the loveliest things we cherish,
  Pass from us soonest, vanish utterly.
  Dust are our deeds, and dust our dreams that perish
  Ere we can say _they be_!

  I have loved man and learned we are not brothers--
  Within myself, perhaps, may lie the cause;--
  Then set one woman high above all others,
  And found her full of flaws.

  Made unseen stars my keblahs of devotion;
  Aspired to knowledge and remained a clod:
  With heart and soul, led on by blind emotion,
  The way to failure trod.

  Chance, say, or fate that works through good and evil;
  Or destiny, that nothing may retard,
  That to some end, above life's empty level,
  Perhaps withholds reward.

© Madison Julius Cawein