Braid Claith

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  Ye wha are fain to hae your name
  Wrote in the bonny book of fame,
  Let merit nae pretension claim
  To laurel'd wreath,
  But hap ye weel, baith back and wame,
  In gude Braid Claith.

  He that some ells o' this may fa,
  An' slae-black hat on pow like snaw,
  Bids bauld to bear the gree awa',
  Wi' a' this graith,
  Whan bienly clad wi' shell fu' braw
  O' gude Braid Claith.

  Waesuck for him wha has na fek o't!
  For he's a gowk they're sure to geck at,
  A chiel that ne'er will be respekit
  While he draws breath,
  Till his four quarters are bedeckit
  Wi' gude Braid Claith.

  On Sabbath-days the barber spark,
  When he has done wi' scrapin wark,
  Wi' siller broachie in his sark,
  Gangs trigly, faith!
  Or to the meadow, or the park,
  In gude Braid Claith.

  Weel might ye trow, to see them there,
  That they to shave your haffits bare,
  Or curl an' sleek a pickly hair,
  Wou'd be right laith,
  Whan pacing wi' a gawsy air
  In gude Braid Claith.

  If only mettl'd stirrah green
  For favour frae a lady's ein,
  He maunna care for being seen
  Before he sheath
  His body in a scabbard clean
  O' gude Braid Claith.

  For, gin he come wi' coat threadbare,
  A feg for him she winna care,
  But crook her bonny mou' fu' sair,
  And scald him baith.
  Wooers shou'd ay their travel spare
  Without Braid Claith.

  Braid Claith lends fock an unco heese,
  Makes mony kail-worms butterflies,
  Gies mony a doctor his degrees
  For little skaith:
  In short, you may be what you please
  Wi' gude Braid Claith.

  For thof ye had as wise a snout on
  As Shakespeare or Sir Isaac Newton,
  Your judgment fouk wou'd hae a doubt on,
  I'll tak my aith,
  Till they cou'd see ye wi' a suit on
  O' gude Braid Claith.

© Robert Fergusson