A King's Soliloquy [On the Night of His Funeral]

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From the slow march and muffled drum,
 And crowds distrest,
And book and bell, at length I have come
 To my full rest.


A ten years' rule beneath the sun
 Is wound up here,
And what I have done, what left undone,
 Figures out clear.


Yet in the estimate of such
 It grieves me more
That I by some was loved so much
 Than that I bore,


From others, judgment of that hue
 Which over-hope
Breeds from a theoretic view
 Of regal scope.


For kingly opportunities
 Right many have sighed;
How best to bear its devilries
 Those learn who have tried!


I have eaten the fat and drunk the sweet,
 Lived the life out
From the first greeting glad drum-beat
 To the last shout.


What pleasure earth affords to kings
 I have enjoyed
Through its long vivid pulse-stirrings
 Even till it cloyed.


What days of strain, what nights of stress
 Can cark a throne,
Even one maintained in peacefulness,
 I too have known.


And so, I think, could I step back
 To life again,
I should prefer the average track
 Of average men,


Since, as with them, what kingship would
 It cannot do,
Nor to first thoughts however good
 Hold itself true.


Something binds hard the royal hand,
 As all that be,
And it is That has shaped, has planned
 My acts and me.

© Thomas Hardy