A Do’set Sale

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WITH A MISTAKE.

(_Thomas and Mr Auctioneer._)


  _T._ Well here, then, Mister auctioneer,
  Be theäse the virs, I bought, out here?

  _A._ The firs, the fir-poles, you bought? Who?
  'Twas _furze_, not _firs_, I sold to you.

  _T._ I bid vor _virs_, and not vor _vuzzen_,
  Vor vir-poles, as I thought, two dozen.

  _A._ Two dozen faggots, and I took
  Your bidding for them. Here's the book.

  _T._ I wont have what I diddèn buy.
  I don't want _vuzzen_, now. Not I.
  Why _firs_ an' _furze_ do sound the seäme.
  Why don't ye gi'e a thing his neäme?
  Aye, _firs_ and _furze_! Why, who can tell
  Which 'tis that you do meän to zell?
  No, no, be kind enough to call
  Em _virs_, and _vuzzen_, then, that's all.

© William Barnes