Funny poems
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Couldn't Live Without You
© Edgar Albert Guest
You're just a little fellow with a lot of funny ways,
Just three-foot-six of mischief set with eyes that fairly blaze;
You're always up to something with those busy hands o' yours,
And you leave a trail o' ruin on the walls an' on the doors,
An' I wonder, as I watch you, an' your curious tricks I see,
Whatever is the reason that you mean so much to me.
Limerick: There was an Old Man of Moldavia
© Edward Lear
There was an Old Man of Moldavia,
Who had the most curious behaviour;
For while he was able,
He slept on a table.
That funny Old Man of Moldavia.
Eclogue:--The Best Man In The Vield
© William Barnes
That's slowish work, Bob. What'st a-been about?
Thy pookèn don't goo on not over sprack.
Why I've a-pook'd my weäle, lo'k zee, clear out,
An' here I be ageän a-turnèn back.
Superhero Pregnant Woman by Jessy Randall: American Life in Poetry #137 Ted Kooser, U.S. Poet Laurea
© Ted Kooser
Dill pickles with strawberry jam? Pregnant women are known to go for late night meals like that. And the senses can go haywire. Here Jessy Randall, of Colorado Springs, gives us a look at one such woman.
Superhero Pregnant Woman
Her sense of smell is ten times stronger.
And so her husband smells funny;
she rolls away from him in the bed.
She even smells funny to herself,
but cannot roll away from that.
Self-Portrait At 28
© David Berman
If squeezed for more information
I can remember old clock radios
with flipping metal numbers
and an entree called Surf and Turf.
Little Boy Blue
© George MacDonald
Little Boy Blue lost his way in a wood-
Sing apples and cherries, roses and honey:
He said, "I would not go back if I could,
It's all so jolly and funny!"
When A Feller's Itching To Be Spanked
© Paul Laurence Dunbar
W'EN us fellers stomp around, makin' lots o' noise,
Gramma says, "There's certain times comes to little boys
Sweeney
© Henry Lawson
It was somewhere in September, and the sun was going down,
When I came, in search of `copy', to a Darling-River town;
`Come-and-have-a-drink' we'll call it -- 'tis a fitting name, I think --
And 'twas raining, for a wonder, up at Come-and-have-a-drink.
Vers De Société
© Philip Larkin
My wife and I have asked a crowd of craps
To come and waste their time and ours: perhaps
You'd care to join us? In a pig's arse, friend.
Day comes to an end.
The gas fire breathes, the trees are darkly swayed.
And so Dear Warlock-Williams: I'm afraid--
Love Again
© Philip Larkin
Love again: wanking at ten past three
(Surely he's taken her home by now?),
The bedroom hot as a bakery,
The drink gone dead, without showing how
To meet tomorrow, and afterwards,
And the usual pain, like dysentery.
Workin It Out
© Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Well I've been spendin' my life lookin' for a shoulder
To rest my head when the nights get colder
But the days are gettin' longer and I'm gettin' older
Been long time workin' it out
I been a long time workin' it out I been a long time workin' it out
I been a long time workin' it out I been a long time workin' it out
Stars
© Joyce Kilmer
(For the Rev. James J. Daly, S. J.)Bright stars, yellow stars, flashing through the air,
Are you errant strands of Lady Mary's hair?
As she slits the cloudy veil and bends down through,
Do you fall across her cheeks and over heaven too?
To Lallie (Outside the British Museum)
© Amy Levy
Up those Museum steps you came,
And straightway all my blood was flame,
O Lallie, Lallie!
Writ On The Eve Of My 32nd Birthday
© Gregory Corso
I am 32 years old
and finally I look my age, if not more.
Dream Song 47: April Fool's Day, or, St Mary of Egypt
© John Berryman
âThass a funny title, Mr Bones.
âWhen down she saw her feet, sweet fish, on the threshold,
she considered her fair shoulders
and all them hundreds who have them, all
the more who to her mime thickened & maled
from the supple stage,
Dream Song 128: A hemorrhage of his left ear of Good Friday
© John Berryman
A hemorrhage of his left ear of Good Fridayâ
so help me Jesusâthen made funny too
the other, further one.
There must have been a bit. Sheets scrubbed away
soon all but three nails. Doctors in this city O
will not (his wife cried) come.
The Grindstone
© Robert Frost
Having a wheel and four legs of its own
Has never availed the cumbersome grindstone
To get it anywhere that I can see.
These hands have helped it go, and even race;
