Funny poems
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Parson Turells Legacy
© Oliver Wendell Holmes
OR, THE PRESIDENT'S OLD ARM-CHAIR
A MATHEMATICAL STORY
The Two Bears
© Carolyn Wells
Prince Curlilocks remarked one day
To Princess Dimplecheek,
"I haven't had a real good play
For more than 'most a week."
America Politica Historia, in Spontaneity
© Gregory Corso
O this political air so heavy with the bells
and motors of a slow night, and no place to rest
And Ut Pictura Poesis Is Her Name
© John Ashbery
You can’t say it that way any more.
Bothered about beauty you have to
Hymn to Life
© James Schuyler
The wind rests its cheek upon the ground and feels the cool damp
And lifts its head with twigs and small dead blades of grass
Mother Shake The Cherry-Tree
© Christina Georgina Rossetti
Mother shake the cherry-tree,
Susan catch a cherry;
The Book of the Dead Man (#15)
© Marvin Bell
1. About the Dead Man and Rigor Mortis
The dead man thinks his resolve has stiffened when the
Unknown Girl in the Maternity Ward
© Anne Sexton
Child, the current of your breath is six days long.
You lie, a small knuckle on my white bed;
Killing Him: A Radio Play
© John Wesley
LISTEN TO THE RADIO PLAY
JOE, a doctoral candidate in literature
RACHEL, his fiancée
POET/CRITIC
A Man in Blue
© James Schuyler
Under the French horns of a November afternoon
a man in blue is raking leaves
A Poets Welcome To His Love-Begotten Daughter
© Robert Burns
Thou's welcome, wean; mishanter fa' me,
If thoughts o' thee, or yet thy mammie,
Shall ever daunton me or awe me,
My sweet wee lady,
Or if I blush when thou shalt ca' me
Tyta or daddie.
Failed Tribute to the Stonemason of Tor House, Robinson Jeffers
© James Tate
We traveled down to see your house,
Tor House, Hawk Tower, in Carmel,
Alimony
© Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Alimony alimony I work till my fingers are bloody and boney
Me oh my oh goodness sake I'm paying for my mistake
She calls it alimony alimony yeah you single men may think it's funny
Till one of these days you're gonna wake and find you're payin' for your mistake
The Woodman And The Money Hunter
© George Moses Horton
Throughout our rambles much we find;
The bee trees burst with honey;
Wild birds we tame of every kind,
At once they seem to be resign'd;
I know but one that lags behind,
There's nothing lags but money.
The World And Bud
© Edgar Albert Guest
If we were all alike, what a dreadful world 'twould be!
No one would know which one was you or which of us was me.
We'd never have a "Skinny" or a "Freckles" or a "Fat,"
An' there wouldn't be a sissy boy to wear a velvet hat;
An' we'd all of us be pitchers when we played a baseball match,
For we'd never have a feller who'd have nerve enough to catch.
Red Stains
© Allen Tate
In a pyloned desert where the scorpion reigns
My love and I plucked poppies breathing tales
