Quotes by Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
I've never let my school interfere with my education.
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
When in doubt tell the truth.
Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
