Quotes by Ogden Nash
Nietsche is Pietsche."
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.
Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.
If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely
The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts, That all sin is divided into two parts....
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.
Progress might have been all right once, but it went on too long.
Progress may have been all right once, but it has gone on too long
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.
The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig.
[In discussing the poem which now might be considered] politically incorrect, ... . . . people felt that way in 1933.
Candy Is dandy But liquor Is quicker.
He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples.
Some primal termite knocked on wood; and tasted it, and found it good. That is why your Cousin May fell through the parlor floor today.
If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate.
The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.
Indoors or out, no one relaxes In March, that month of wind and taxes, The wind will presently disappear, The taxes last us all year.
The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie!
I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.
If some confectioners were willing To let the shape announce the filling, We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs, Bitten into and returned to the box.
Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.
A little incompatibility is the spice of life, as long as he has income and she is pattable.
