Funny poems
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Josephs Dreams and Reuben's Brethren [A Recital in Six Chapters]
© Henry Lawson
CHAPTER I
I cannot blame old Israel yet,
Bud's Fairy-Tale
© James Whitcomb Riley
Nen _I_ say "Howdy-do!"
An' he say "_I'm_ all hunkey, Nibsey; how
Is _your_ folks comin' on?"
My Other Chinee Cook
© James Brunton Stephens
Yes, I got another Johnny; but he was to Number One
As a Satyr to Hyperion, as a rushlight to a sun;
He was lazy, he was cheeky, he was dirty he was sly,
But he had a single virtue, and its name was rabbit pie.
The Comedian
© Edgar Albert Guest
Whatever the task and whatever the risk, wherever
the flag's in air,
Lady Godiva
© Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Hey Lady Godiva, ridin´ through the town
Naked on your big white horse
With your long hair hangin´ down
Lady Godiva, you say you´re really frightened
They'll None of 'Em Be Missed
© William Schwenck Gilbert
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list - I've got a little list
A Feller's Hat
© Edgar Albert Guest
It's funny 'bout a feller's hat--
He can't remember where it's at,
John James Audobon
© Stephen Vincent Benet
Some men live for warlike deeds,
Some for womens words.
John James Audubon
Lived to look at birds.
I Know All This When Gipsy Fiddles Cry
© Vachel Lindsay
Oh, sweating thieves, and hard-boiled scalawags,
That still will boast your pride until the doom,
Smashing every caste rule of the world,
Reaching at last your Hindu goal to smash
The caste rules of old India, and shout:
"Down with the Brahmins, let the Romany reign."
Golf Pride
© Edgar Albert Guest
As a golfer I'm not one who cops the money,
I shall always be a member of the dubs;
At Aunty's House
© James Whitcomb Riley
One time, when we'z at Aunty's house--
'Way in the country!--where
Beans Taste Fine
© Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Now a friend of mine, way back in Chicago
You know, he finally made his pile.
Well he got himself a mansion on Butler and Sheff
An' he was livin' in the latest style;
Lines On And From "Bartlett's Familiar Quotations"
© Franklin Pierce Adams
Of making many books there is no end-
So Sancho Panza said, and so say I.
Thou wert my guide, philosopher and friend
When only one is shining in the sky.
George Mullen's Confession
© James Whitcomb Riley
For the sake of guilty conscience, and the heart that ticks the
time
Of the clockworks of my nature, I desire to say that I'm
A weak and sinful creature, as regards my daily walk
The last five years and better. It ain't worth while to talk--
Merry Stories And Funny Pictures
© Heinrich Hoffmann
When the children have been good,
That is, be it understood,
Good at meal-times, good at play,
Good all night and good all day
They shall have the pretty things
Merry Christmas always brings.
